Volvo
just keep on proving that when it comes to releasing sports derivatives
of family focused saloons they really do know what their doing, the S40
T5 is no exception, I actually owned a previous model T5 which I
totally loved, all bar the colour that is, having decided in a moment
of madness that Banana yellow was simply the colour that I had to have.
The new S40 T5 is even better than the old T5 it feels a lot bigger
sturdier and far more aggressive, it also has a sense of luxury about
it that was sorely missing in the previous T5, it's airier inside and
just feels more spacious. Volvo have always been generous with the
standard spec on models but with the T5 they really have gone
overboard, there's enough gadgets and gizmo's to keep any 18yr old
chicken who may be sat in the passenger seat quietly entertained for a
lengthy car trip. Space wise it's still got a cavernous boot and plenty
of room to seat 5 adults in leather-clad comfort ensuring you and your
posse arrive at your destination ready to club the night away.
Interior wise it would be a crime if I didn't mention the super space
age ultra thin floating centre instrument stack, the stack which houses
an outstanding audio system, phone, air con and onboard computer that
allows you to totally tailor everything from whether the lights stay on
when you lock the car to whether the doors lock automatically when your
driving, is a worlds first and it does totally change the look of the
interior, with everything feels very modern and stylish, overall the
interior is outstanding and is a real credit to Volvo's design team.
Engine wise the 220bhp 2.5 litre unit in the T5 is a great lively
engine staying punchy and sharp through all the gears, it's mated to
the smoothest of gearboxes that makes changing gear pure pleasure, it
does lack kick in 6th but hey nothings perfect and changing down to 5th
will give you the required oomph. 0-62mph is taken care of in a not to
shabby 6.8 seconds and fuel economy is excellent with the T5 doing
32mpg (combined).
Because it's a Volvo the list of safety features just goes on and on
and build quality is second to none, however unlike its big brother the
S60R which is just pure perfection on wheels, the S40 T5 has 2 very
irritating features, the first of which is the strange placement of the
ignition which Volvo have placed on the left of the steering wheel in
the middle of the dash next to the CD slot, this means that every time
you plug in or remove the magnetic key you have to reach round the
steering wheel and behind the stalk which houses the controls for the
lights, it's a real pain an although towards the end of my week I'd
finally stopped smashing my fingers into the light stalk and steering
wheel every time I removed the key from the ignition, it still makes
you wonder why they put it there!!
However this pales into insignificance when compared to the placement
of the SIM card holder for the in-car phone system, which is: a) Housed
in the very back corner of the black interior of the glove box b) Black
in colour so it blends invisibly into the glove box.
I spent the first 4 days hunting trying to find it and when I finally
did I had to empty everything out of the glove box to get at it, which
I had to do from the passenger seat as it's impossible to reach from
the driver seat. Now if like me you don't have 2 SIM cards or you just
can't be bothered with all the hassle that switching from one to the
other brings then you are out of luck and you'll be purchasing a 2nd
"car" mobile in order to use your new car phone or buying a Bluetooth
kit for the car.
Overall because it's such a great car and a lovely place to be I can
forgive 2 minor mistakes and see what a true feather in Volvo's cap the
S40 is.
The Volvo S40 range starts at £15,503 OTR with the fully loaded top of
the range S40 T5 SE Sport costing a Triga DVD under £30,000
What
has 300bhp, goes from 0-60 in 5.7 seconds, has a top speed of 155mph
(electronically limited), seats 5 in luxury and costs less than 40k?
Wait for it… it's a Volvo, well no ordinary Volvo, it's the range
topping Volvo S60 R.
Imagine that you buy a Kinder
Surprise, eat the chocolate, pop open the little plastic egg inside and
for once instead of finding a crappy plastic toy that breaks whilst
your assembling it, you find a living breathing Calvin Klein model in
nothing but a loin cloth.
This Volvo is the road going version of that feeling, from the outside
it looks like a regular sporty Volvo S60 just a bit more butch than
usual. However when you open the door and get in, that's when it hits
you that something was very different. Starting the engine causes a
deep throaty noise to kick out from under the bonnet, look around the
dash and racing dials stare back at you, yes this was like no Volvo you
will have driven before.
The interior is a work of Scandinavian art, it's clean and uncluttered,
I didn't hunt for a switch once, everything including the Sat Nav
(which gracefully rises out of the of the dash when you start the
engine) is deliberately angled towards the driver, nice touches are
aplenty in the cabin. Worth pointing out is the sound system which ok
in the model I drove was the upgraded 6XCD with 13 speakers, but sound
quality at any volume was just amazing and well worth the extra cost.
The
flagship R's 2.5 litre turbocharged engine is just magic, I couldn't
find a flat spot in any gear, even on the motorway in 6th, put your
foot down and every one of those 300 horses leap into action. The 6
speed Manual box is another pure diamond, throw into the mix the All
Wheel Drive and Active Chassis systems not to mention the endless
safety systems to keep you on the road when you use all that power mean
it really is a dream to drive.
Because it's a Volvo
it's loaded to the hilt with airbags and safety features to ensure that
god forbid if you do pile it you stand more chance of walking away. I
loved every minute of my week with the R, it did everything I asked and
more, totally fitting what most of us want from a sporty 4 door saloon,
my biggest tip: the colour to buy the R in is Sonic Blue Pearl with
Gobi soft leather, it's a fab combo that will just make you swoon, the
flagship R with just about every optional extra available costs just
over £38,500 and in my opinion it's well worth the money
Creating
more excitement than George Michael's new album (surely there's got to
be one coming soon!) "slumped over the wheel" or "stopping traffic" lol
( whatever he'll call it after his finished giving the gay community a
bad name being caught constantly passed out in the drivers seat). I got
the pleasure of being taken off to cloudy Spain to test the all new
hatchback C30 and I have to say it's a great car. With a better backend
than your average gym-bunny and a side profile that's so sexy it could
melt the heart of even the bitterest of queens, you can't help but fall
in love with it.
However it's not just a pretty face! Oh
no with a product range to fit everyone's needs from a little 1.6 right
up to the T5 sports model Volvo have given us a great selection to
choose from. So what's so different about the new Volvo hatch that sets
it apart from the A3 and totally pointless BMW 1 Series (cramped
doesn't even start to describe it!)? 4 individual seats instead of 5
that's what! Volvo have taken the approach that their new car is really
going to be aimed at the trendy lifestyle market rather than the family
market so have kicked the back bench seat to the kerb and thrown in 2
rear seats with a rather comfortable armrest in the middle. The rear
seats still drop down and fold for extra space making the C30 just as
practically as your standard hatch, luggage space is still good with
the seats up so you won't be trying to cram in your January sale
bargains. I drove the D5 (diesel) and the T5 sports on the trip and
have to say my pick would be the T5, it's a great performance package
and really holds the road well even under stressfully driving
conditions (by that I mean you driving like a nutter, not the car being
stressed because it cant find matching gloves and scarf in the Harvey
Nicks sale), the D5 wasn't as great as I was expecting with some flat
spots in acceleration in the top gears, however that could be down to
the auto box or me having only 4hrs sleep the previous night rather
than poor performance.
It your looking at hatchbacks I firmly recommend you look at the new
C30, it's a great car and the totally package, it's styley ultra cool
and it's going to be cheaper that its rivals like for like and with
this Volvo you don't have to be a 30+ Slone ranger with 3 sproggs
called Tabitha, Tamara and Tarquin to drive one.
I had the pleasure this week of being whisked off to
not-so-sunny-but-still-warmer-than-here Mallorca by Volvo to spend a
few days tanking around the island roads in their all new and rather
wonderful C30 Sports hatch. The all-new C30 will mark a return for
Volvo to the small hatchback market and will be competing against the
likes of the uglier-than-a-fat-queen-in-a-crop-top BMW 1 series and
delightful Audi A3, however the Volvo will cost less than both and be
better equipped like for like. TopGayer top pick would be the T5 with
its 200bhp turbo charged engine delivering real sports performance and
great handling.
The C30 is an absolute dream to drive, it handles well and looks stunning, really putting its competition to shame with its ultra modern looks and fantastic back end (all glass tail gate!). On the down side the D5 diesel I drove did have a few flat spots in the performance, although I was driving the 5 speed auto box, which could have had something to do with it. Inside it's not your normal hatchback either with 4 individual seats instead of the standard 2 + 3 arrangement. It's very comfortable, like all Volvo's it feels ultra safe and very well put together with a quality finish. I predict this all new Volvo will be a top seller and a big hit with us gays, mainly because its just so different and styley, so make sure if your mooching around looking for your new hatch you pop into your local Volvo dealer as orders are being taken now and there is sure to be a long waiting list very soon.
..........
R Design
When
Volvo launched the C30 I loved it, it was funky, sporty and compact,
yet it did what it promised and performed well, looked great and was a
lot of fun to drive. Enter stage left the all new R design version of
the popular 4 seater hatch…
The R design I had through on test was the 2.0L turbo diesel SE Sport variant, which meant not only did it perform better than lap dancer in the presence of Peter Stringfellow, but also handled beautifully and returned an amazing 500 miles on a tank of Diesel.
So what makes the R Design more special than a night playing strip twister with Justin Timberlake? Well Volvo haven't souped up the engine, nor have they altered the suspension so it's lower than a rent boys knickers. The SE Sport R design comes as standard with 18" 'Atreus' Alloy wheels and a big beefy bodykit, which adds a big yet tasteful rear spoiler, lower more imposing front bumper, chrome exhaust tips, big R Design badge in the front grille, chrome effect wing mirrors and a overall sportier profile added to the exterior. Inside the R Design edition sports seats hold you just firm enough to make you feel hugged in the right areas whilst not tight enough to cut off the blood supply to your legs lol. You also get a shed load of R Design badges on the (unique to the trim level) leather steering wheel, R Design logo embossed onto the seats, Gear-knob, blue 'racing' instrument dials, aluminium deco trim throughout and aluminium sports pedals.
Now
before you start thinking that this model costs a fortune… the model I
tested was under 20k and the most popular R Design model is actually
the entry level 1.6 Sport R Design priced at a very reasonable £14,995,
giving the younger driver the ability to own a sportier little number
that isn't going to cost the earth to insure and run.
Maximum Top Gayer points awarded to Volvo this month for a truly great little motor.
While
I had this car through on test and whilst driving along in it with some
friends in the back, I mentioned just how sexy I thought the XC60 was,
and just how far Volvo have come in the younger persons popularity
stakes. My friends replied that all Volvo's were 'old mans cars' and
that 'you'd never catch us driving one'. They also made some other
worrying comments about the interiors being old, blocky and very
unattractive. It was at this point I realised that they hadn't even
noticed that they were IN A VOLVO at the time of making these informed
opinions. I pulled over, informed my friends that I was getting a
headache and would one of them mind driving for a bit. One took over
and off we went, I at this point mentioned that he was now in fact
driving a Volvo, which he, even with the huge Volvo badge on the
steering wheel looking at him, disputed lol.
So all this just goes to show that ignorance is not always bliss. What is bliss however is the new XC60. It's a stunning motor from ultra-funky rear lights to massive 'get-out-of-my-way' imposing front grille, it's a work of design art. It also turns heads. Off-road it's more than capable, with all the gadgets and gizmos required to keep you motoring on regardless of rough ground or bad weather. I was actually fortunate enough to have the XC60 during the recent blizzards that ground the Cotswolds to a halt for several days. Not me though, my trusty Volvo just ploughed on through it all, making it all a very minor inconvenience.
Performance is unfortunately the thorn in the side of the XC60, the 2.4D (entry level diesel engine in the range) was noisier than I would have liked, sounding at times quite 'tractor-like'. Although the 0-62mph time is 10secs, it actually feels like an age longer, making the Volvo feel sluggish, when you put your foot down there's also a fair amount of turbo-lag before the power is delivered and then it's in a big noise punch. I'd definitely look at the superb D5 version of the 2.4 diesel engine which gives the XC60 another 22bhp, shaves a second off the 0-62 time and will be a much more refined engine and loads more fun to drive.
Then we come to the interior, once again the XC60's interior spot on the money, absolutely bucket loads of kit included in the standard spec and by the time you get all the way up to the SE LUX trim level I tested you really couldn't want for anything more. SE LUX trim gets full leather, electric everything (the only thing missing is a blender in the glove box). The seats are supremely comfortable (as always) and the driving position thoroughly lovely.
Everything about the Volvo, once you've upgraded the engine to the D5 or T6 Petrol, is truly enjoyable. The 2.4D SE LUX I tested costs £28,050 OTR, however I'd spend a bit extra and buy the D5 engined SE LUX, which starts at £29,050.
So
Volvo have released the "all new" XC90, which actually means that
they've cosmetically enhanced it with a light face-lift, however who
can blame them for not wanting to dramatically change a very popular
model. To increase the XC90's offering to the public Volvo have added a
Sport version to the range, so like the dutiful Gay that I am, I
decided it was a must for a test drive (just to see if it was any good
you understand!). Now I really like the standard XC90, although it does
have a bit of Kensington-mummy-school-bus image, overall it's a great
car and it's also a seven seater as standard (2 extra seats fold out of
the boot floor when you need 'em). So what exactly does the Sport model
offer that sets it apart? Bling and plenty of it lol, big 19" sport
only alloys replace the standard 18"s (and we all know that an extra
inch makes all the difference), big double chromed exhausts to make it
look meaner from the back than a pissed off drag queen, body coloured
body kit to kick out the wheel arches and silver door sills to enhance
the sporting look, also no roof bars (did I just hear a queen in Soho
faint!), funky shimmering blue "watch style" dash dials (straight out
the S60R) and a sporty black and grey leather interior. So Volvo just
changed the trim I hear you all cry? Not at all, the anti-roll bars are
stiffer and the suspension firmer so it really does make driving it
feel a lot more sporty as well as looking it. I think it's a great
addition to the range. Having recently facelifted the whole XC90 range
giving slimmer more tapered lights to the front and rear as well as
adding little touches here and there to just tidy up and strengthen the
already strong character of their popular urban tank, is the XC90 Sport
really needed? Hell yeah, drive the SE Lux version then jump into a
sport, it just feels tighter with less body roll, it's kind of like
saying that a 45yr will be as agile and as much fun in bed as a 19yr
old (before all you 45yrs start emailing me abuse and claiming to be as
nubile and flexible as a 19yr, don't bother, you me and the rest of the
gay world know it just isn't happening honey, just keep telling
yourself it's true!)
I love the fact that the press car
I had was bright red with blacked out windows and really
turned heads, it was great to drive and it's a lot of fun. The new
sport costs just over 37k and is well worth looking at when you decide
it's time for a change.