| X Type I XF I XJ I XK |
So popular is the new XF that Jag just can't keep up with the demand, I can't even get a press car on loan until the end of July! Not one to be told no, I popped down to H.A Fox Jaguar in Cheltenham, asked very nicely and the lovely Carly loaned me a 2.7 V6 twin-turbocharged Diesel in Premium Luxury spec to test out. So what's so special about it I hear you cry? Well whether you're inside or out, the XF is just beautiful to behold. Outside its muscular and sporting, strong curves and lines take your eye from front to back. Look at it head on and the big growling chrome grill and wrap round lights say to those in front to move over. From the side and rear, well 3 different people asked me if Aston Martin had released a four door saloon.
Yes this is a truly stunning motor from any angle. Then inside it's a gay boys dream, push the engine start button and gadgets and gizmo's backlit in neon blue appear from nowhere and turn the interior of the all new jag into something resembling a very expensive and exclusive gay bar. Now when I say things appear I mean things like the JaguarDrive Selector™ rising gracefully out of the centre console, the air-vents automatically swivelling round from closed chrome to open vents. Yes just starting this car is enough to make you weak at the knees, then couple that with automatic or electric everything, touch sensitive opening glove-box and touch sensitive interior lights, the XF is not only class leading but more fun than a CK model covered in chocolate. I love it (the car that is) and starting at £33,000 for the entry-level model (which has so much spec as standard if I listed it I'd take up another three pages), means that the new XF leaves the competition standing and you feeling oh so very special.
Bless the XK, it's been a firm favourite of mine for the past 5yrs, stunning to behold, powerful yet controllable and captivating to both drive and be a passenger in. I just love its low slung 'on-the-prowl' aggressive styling and punchy performance. You could be forgiven for thinking that the 2010 model line-up for XK hasn't actually changed, but you'd be wrong, very wrong. In its wisdom Jaguar has decided to opt for a 'less-is-more' approach to the restyling of the exterior, opting for more subtle 'enhancements' (after all, if it ain't broke don't fix it!). The range of cars also jumps from 4 (XK, XK Convertible, XKR, XKR Convertible) to 6 to including the new mid range 'Portfolio' model I tested.
So having sent the XK under the surgeons knife (thankfully they didn't use Joan Rivers guy, can you imagine!) what are the actual changes? . Design revisions include; new front bumper, new mirrors with integrated LED side repeater, rear valance, rear LED lights and colour-coded side power vents, you also now get two rear lights instead of just the one, this gives the rear a more distinct look at night.
Inside, there's upgraded tweaks and more new Geekery than can be found in your average PC World, as well as new handling and performance gadgets to scare the technophobe's silly. The first huge change and dollop of tech-wizardry is found with the inclusion of the acclaimed JaguarDrive Selector™ (first seen on the XF). This is the ultra-cool Jaguar automatic gearbox, instead of a normal old gearstick, a silver cylinder raises gracefully out of the console between the seats and invites you to change gear by twisting the knob (how apt for us gays to have the ability to increase performance, direction and pace by twisting a knob lol). Then we come to the new Adaptive Dynamics system (the latest in computer-controlled suspension) (with Active Differential Control on the XKR). Activating the Dynamic driving system does totally change the Jag into a raring-to-go agile predator with a killer exhaust note, from its normal stance of graceful sweeping Grand Tourer, further enhancing performance, driving dynamics and the XK's luxury sporting character
How has all huge improvement (in places where you didn't think it needed improving) happen just with a few gadgets and gizmo's? Well Jag have face-lifted one other major factor of the new XK… the engine. Out goes the old 4.2 and in comes an all new 5.0-litre naturally aspirated V8 delivering 385bhp, and a mighty 515Nm of torque. This new engine absolutely sings when you drive hard and propels XK coupe to 60mph in not to shabby 5.2 seconds. It also improves the CO2 emissions and fuel economy comparable to the less powerful 4.2-litre engine it replaces. The naturally aspirated XK fuel economy improvements are a welcome bonus, with an average consumption of 25.2mpg combined. Yes it still drinks like Britney on a bad day, but what do you expect from a 5L sports car!
So it goes like Paris Hilton (on a camera set to night vision, in a hotel room). It's the epitome of style and luxury. The handling on sweeping bends and sharp corners is outstanding. So its pretty much faultless, the other major bonus is its price, at just under £65,000 it's a steal, well when compared to the rest of the market!
Standard kit is somewhere else the Jag excels, my 'Portfolio' test car comes with 16-way seat adjustability for both driver and passenger seats, with heating and memory functions, adjustable side bolsters and new cooled seats all as standard as standard. A seven-inch Touch-screen also comes as standard and provides access and control for; Climate Control and Audio systems, the Sat Nav, Bluetooth (which just didn't work ever!), and for Jaguar's Portable Audio Interface (iPod dock lead - which really worked and offers full control of your pod) - all standard equipment on the 'Portfolio'. The other major standard feature on the Portfolio is the high-end Bowers & Wilkins sound system. This 525-watt system with Dolby® ProLogic®II Surround Sound, three-channel stereo with unique amplifier, Kevlar mid-range speakers with high output and low distortion, and specially designed aluminum tweeters, sounds sweeter (and more genuine) than a Chris Brown apology.
I love the new XK; it's worth every single penny. From its superb drive, great performance and sheer kerb-side sexiness, it's a beautiful motor that just grabs attention wherever you go.
I have a small soft spot (well it's not small and it's not soft lol) for the XK as I think overall it's a great car and it's the full package when it comes to being a sports car. So how did Jag set about bettering the new XK? They made it faster, stiffer and louder that's how, and by gay god does it work well. Put your foot down in the new XKR and the 4.2 supercharged V8 absolutely roars, valves in the exhaust open making it sound like the total monster it is and everybody within a mile radius will turn to see what's coming. Acceleration figures for the standard 300bhp XK Convertible are 0 - 62mph in 6 seconds whilst the 420bhp XKR does it in 5 seconds without so much as batting one of it's very beautiful eyelids.
The R-tuned suspension and upgraded springs and dampeners also make a massive difference making the XKR stiffer and more composed under hard acceleration and braking. Whilst I'm taking about brakes, the XKR also gets upgraded 14" ventilated R discs all round to ensure that it stops as well as it goes.
Interior
and exterior styling changes (to ensure everybody else knows you're
driving the R not the standard!) are: Different interior with sports
aluminium weave trim, gear shirt paddles on the steering wheel to help
with those quick change downs, outside sees a sportier grille, bigger
wheels with lower profile tyres, aluminium side strips (inside of the
normal body coloured) and a tougher lower stance than that of the
standard XK, not to mention the big R badge on the back.
So how
much will all this extra performance and general fabulousness cost?
Well the standard XK comes in at around 65k, here's the killer… the XKR
is just 8k more coming in at just over 73k, well worth the extra if
you've got it to spend. So how much do I love this car? Well any well
healed and single readers who would like to buy me one for Christmas
will ensure my hand in marriage (well unless of course your really fat,
old or ugly, hell who am I kidding I'd still do it for one lol).


